Art Journal Entry #2
September 9th, 2016
When you hear “gray matter” what comes to mind? Is it some kind of unknown element floating through space waiting for it’s potential to be unlocked? Is it the soft goo that fills our brains allowing consciousness and thought to be possible? Or is it a dark mass of never ending shades of grey, like a thick fog impossible to navigate through?
To me it’s all of these things, only it’s not impossible to navigate through. But trying to barrel your way through the smog simply isn’t going to work. Sure, you may get to the other side, but you have merely parted the fog and not cleared any of it away.
In the process of healing and self-excavating, it is far too easy and common to become overwhelmed. Trying to take on your biggest demon before fighting through the smaller, weaker ones is a sure way to defeat. You wouldn’t attempt Mt. Everest as your first hike, would you?
So how does one get through all this gray matter? How do detoxify the fog to reveal the sparkly, magickal mist that awaits beneath it?
You could shovel through, though back breaking work, it would prove quick. But how much left the cradling of the spade before it was truly polished?
What about a big, strong fan? Little effort will be required, and the fog will leave quickly. But no dissecting has occurred, and the grey will merely return on a passing wind.
I purpose a more delicate, conscious approach to dealing with the grey matter: sifting. It will be a long process, and your shoulders may begin to ache from the weight of it all, but it will be worth it.
Allow only small amounts of gray matter to pass through first, taking on only as much as you can handle at the start. As time goes on and you feel stronger, maybe you’ll want to upgrade to a larger mesh, allowing more to fall through at a quicker pace. Maybe slow and steady will fit you well.
Sift. Sift. Sift.
Allow what no longer serves you to fall through; it does not need to stay and requires none of your precious attention. Examine what’s left in your basket. Is there a shiny gold nugget waiting for you? Or maybe a dense chunk of charcoal waiting to be pressed into a diamond? Is there a crying child desperate for love? Or maybe a broken compass needing some mending?
Here’s the thing about gray matter: there’s a lot of it, oh boy is there! But most of it is fluff, camouflaging layers to distract and hide you from the core of the matter. Practicing mindfulness while sifting through your personal grey matter will make a world of difference. Look at your thoughts, anxieties, and insecurities and ask them, “Are you real? Is this really what I’m so upset about? Or are you just keeping my attention from authentic emotion?”.
But that doesn’t make all grey matter bad, on the contrary! Like the unknown element waiting to be discovered, grey matter has a great deal of potential just waiting for you to unlock it! It’s dirty, dark work, but sifting through your own grey matter will bring you to a place of happiness, peace, of full-being and living!! The more grey matter that gets worked through, the more escalated platforms you will hit, and wow will it feel good!!
Prescribed side effects of sifting through grey matter includes, but not exclusive to: self-love, fulfillment, stepping into your bigness, understanding yourself at a deeper level, happiness, and owning your authentic persona.
So if grey matter is out in the ethereal, than it stands to reason that it’s also in us. We are made of stars after all. You wouldn’t be the conscious life form you are now without it. Grey matter allows us to perceive deep thoughts and realizations. It fuels mindfulness, creativity, and growth. So though it may be dim and nasty place within us, don’t discredit it for the good it can do for us if we allow it.
Sift. Sift. Sift.
Take it slow. Take your time. Be easy on yourself, and always do it with love (to yourself especially!) We can’t all be Buddha, and our own personal enlightenment with trickle in at it’s own pace, like a waterfall made fr carved from a single consistent drip.
Trying to hurry our healing will only lead to deeper problems, more wounds, and exhaustion in all forms: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Sift, sift, sift. Churn, churn, churn. Love, love, love. Release, release,